Monday, May 31, 2010
Cheers!
Thanks to everyone who made it down to the Golden Gate last night! It was a blast. I'm in pain now! Thanks. More info/stories soon!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Ahhh yes. These blog dwelling nasties will be dealt with swiftly, with the iron fist of the badger, the razor jaws of the sharkface and the soggy meat juice of the T-bone.
Meanwhile, here is a picture of me sun baking on a beach on the island of Madagascar. I was pursuing a rogue dewgong who was refusing to pay his aquatic taxes, when i stopped for some press shots. Let us hope it will make the cover of Seafarers monthly, or better yet... badgers uncensored.
Free Download La Roux vs Major Lazer
Yo! Two of the most annoying groups smashed together. Surely it will either be super awesome, or sand crab shithouse. Oh well it's free. Chomp Chomp.
http://maddecent.bandcamp.com/album/lazerproof?type=email&sig=2731d4e2750ee5a44dfab57b750fc8f0&auto=mp3-320&payment_id=67117449
An Open Letter to the Salty Badger
Dear Salts,
I welcome you to the All My Friends family of marine freaks and talking cuts of meat. My first order of duty is to bestow you with the Malcolm Douglas Award for inspired writing by Hairy Sea Beasts*. This award means you can now walk into the Golden Gate Hotel and receive a 20% discount on shellfish(except on Sundays and public holidays) and half-price salt-reduced haircuts at Festers Fine Fur Co.
Let me be the first to congratulate you, and warn you. Somewhere deep in this blog is a collection of creatures that mean us harm. They keyed a cryptic message into the side of my salty Monaro the other day when i was out drinking with T-Bones. Maybe you can help us decipher what it means...
'Favour finds the troubled soul. Hell to pay for all your gold.'
If you need me, I'll be drinking in the park with T-Bones trying to pick up fatty fatty backpackers.
Chomp Chomp.
The Legend of Salty Badger
As the legend goes...
He was born in the cracks of the earth. Released forth from underwater fissures unto the beckoning ocean. Wrought into a life of servitude in the company of sweet mother nature. Lord of the ocean, and symbol of the sea. Protector of the deep, and all things marine.
This legend speaks of a badger, so salty, that even the fires of hell could not dilute his perseverance. Swimming from ocean to ocean. Diving deep into underwater valleys and chasms. A relic of an ancient power, that proudly commands the respect of all things in the living aquatic.
He is The Salty Badger.
And when he is not taming the ocean, he appears on land. Roaming about chapel st bars drinking schooners and ranting about the Nasdaq. For when he isn’t riding down 40ft waves punching dolphins, raping seals and snacking on shellfish (and various other kelpy produce), he is at heart… a simple badger.
And like many creatures of such a nature he enjoys simple things; Electronic beats, novelty wigs, barbecue shapes and pornography.
So if thou should come across said badger, beware… And be sure to buy him a beer for all of the hard work he’s been doing; only keeping our ecosystems in check, defending the ocean and gaurding the underwater life of planet earth. For one day you might find yourself drowning off the coast in a deadly rip current.
To whom then…will you turn.
He was born in the cracks of the earth. Released forth from underwater fissures unto the beckoning ocean. Wrought into a life of servitude in the company of sweet mother nature. Lord of the ocean, and symbol of the sea. Protector of the deep, and all things marine.
This legend speaks of a badger, so salty, that even the fires of hell could not dilute his perseverance. Swimming from ocean to ocean. Diving deep into underwater valleys and chasms. A relic of an ancient power, that proudly commands the respect of all things in the living aquatic.
He is The Salty Badger.
And when he is not taming the ocean, he appears on land. Roaming about chapel st bars drinking schooners and ranting about the Nasdaq. For when he isn’t riding down 40ft waves punching dolphins, raping seals and snacking on shellfish (and various other kelpy produce), he is at heart… a simple badger.
And like many creatures of such a nature he enjoys simple things; Electronic beats, novelty wigs, barbecue shapes and pornography.
So if thou should come across said badger, beware… And be sure to buy him a beer for all of the hard work he’s been doing; only keeping our ecosystems in check, defending the ocean and gaurding the underwater life of planet earth. For one day you might find yourself drowning off the coast in a deadly rip current.
To whom then…will you turn.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
New Sharkface Mix
Just the other day i setup the decks in my underwater sex cave so i could drop this fresh fish funk mix for all the mermaids - but they just wrote on their merblog that it sucked crab balls. So next time i get back on land im going to get my mate Jippo to get his 40 footer and im going to take him to the spot they live and let him out the net. Once they see me grooving from the boat swiggin on a super dry they're going to swim up a bit closer then...BAM...Jippo pulls the net and then we see whose laughing...
Enjoy. Chomp Chomp.
http://www.speedyshare.com/files/17658368/40_minutes_of_funk.mp3
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
INTRODUCING SHARKFACE
I'm one quarter shark and three quarters young dude. I can breathe underwater and run through the jungle. My name is Sharkface… Chomp chomp.
All My Friends love Sundays. It’s the best cause we can all go down to the Golden Gate Hotel and drink some beers and not be discriminated against because we look a bit different. Yes I have a sharkface, no I don’t necessarily want to bite you. Keep looking at my gills like that and maybe I will.
I usually head down with T-Bones and the Salty Badger, because the concept of the party is about friendship, but sometimes we attract attention because one of us is a giant piece of meat, I have a sharkface, and the other is well…a salty Badger. Sometimes I think about eating T-Bones, but the feeling usually passes.
Here is a picture of us at the Golden Gate Hotel in South Melbourne, excuse my drawing, sometimes I get the perspective wrong because my eyes are on the side of my nose.
All My Friends love Sundays. It’s the best cause we can all go down to the Golden Gate Hotel and drink some beers and not be discriminated against because we look a bit different. Yes I have a sharkface, no I don’t necessarily want to bite you. Keep looking at my gills like that and maybe I will.
I usually head down with T-Bones and the Salty Badger, because the concept of the party is about friendship, but sometimes we attract attention because one of us is a giant piece of meat, I have a sharkface, and the other is well…a salty Badger. Sometimes I think about eating T-Bones, but the feeling usually passes.
Here is a picture of us at the Golden Gate Hotel in South Melbourne, excuse my drawing, sometimes I get the perspective wrong because my eyes are on the side of my nose.
Monday, May 17, 2010
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